"The Morning After "
By Steve Olenski
Sep 25th, 2006

Time's yours. Food's mine


Game 3 - Eagles vs SF

Good morning boys and girls.

Before I get to yesterday's festivities, I just want to tell you that I have officially put a moratorium on the use of any references to Rice-A-Roni and the term “San Francisco treat” when discussing any game vs. the Forty-Niners.

So you won't see any headlines in the TMA such as “Birds get their own special treat in Frisco” or some other lame headline like that.

Now, you WILL more than likely see something along those lines in the local papers and websites, in fact I will be shocked if you don't.

Okay, now that that's out of the way…let's see a show of hands. How many of you got just a little uncomfortable in your chairs yesterday? C'mon, I see you way in the back with your hand up.

I'll admit it, I was a little uncomfortable at some points in the game. How could you not be coming on the heels of what we witnessed last week?

Fortunately, the opposing team was, well…bad, and every time you thought Uncle Mo — that's momentum for you non Dick Vitale fans out there and if you don't know who Dicky V is, never mind — was changing hands, the Niners didn't seem to want it.

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

The Niners stadium is named after Herman, Lily, Eddie, Marilyn and Grandpa? Is that true?

Munster Stadium, right?

Wow Herman must have gotten a raise from Mr. Gateman down at the funeral home or maybe Grandpa mixed up one of his concoctions. Wonder if Lily plays the organ?


Oh. It's MONSTER Stadium, not Munster? As in

Personally I think Munster would be more fun. Think of the promotional events and giveaways they could have.

Free Wolf Wolf doll to the first 5,000 fans with bolts in their necks.

Man, did I watch way too much TV as a kid.

A Day at the Improv…

So last week, there we were, Fourth and One, a very key point in the game. Donovan comes to the line of scrimmage, surveys the defensive landscape and does NOT change the play called by the sidelines as he should have, and instead runs the play as called and the Eagles do not Pass Go and do not collect $200 and in fact wind up in jail without a Get Out Of Jail Free Card.

This week, Big Red clearly gave #5 an Audible At Will card as it took all of four plays for Donovan to come to the line of scrimmage, survey the defensive landscape and change the play accordingly.

The result? A short shuffle pass to Brian Westbrook for the Eagles first touchdown.

This would not be the last audible Donovan would call on the day and one has to wonder if last week's game had any effect on the latitude Big Red gave to #5 in terms of changing the play after breaking the huddle.

I know Yogi Berra and you are no…

Fox analyst Brian Baldinger is normally a gold mine for mispronouncing names, misquoting information and generally saying things that make you go huh?

Yesterday, he did not disappoint.

Speaking about…well, you know I don't even remember what he was talking about but it doesn't matter.

At some point in the Second Quarter, he was attempting to refer back to something he said earlier in the game but somehow got a little ahead of himself, or actually behind himself and said:

“…like I said before earlier…”

Altogether now…HUH?

Which is it Baldy, before or earlier? Can't be both else the universe comes to a complete stop and time as we know it has no relevance or use.

Or maybe Baldy's living in some sort of parallel universe? Or maybe he's secretly Marty McFly in disguise?

Since this is Baldy and we all know this is certainly not his first NOR his last statement that makes you scratch the old cranium, I am reminded of perhaps Yogi's all time classic observation:

"This is like deja vu all over again."

Lewis & Clark…

Famous American exploring duo, right?

Well yesterday Eagles WR Greg Lewis was doing some exploring of his own as in exploring new ways to turn the ball over.

First his fumble, as the Birds were getting into Field Goal range, leads directly to the Niners first points.

Then later in the game, he missed a throw from Donovan, that was high but catch-able, that was nearly picked off and would have killed another drive.

Yes, he made some nice catches bit face it, kids. He is a #3 or even a #4 receiver at best.

Damn it Jim, I'm a linebacker…

You're hearing this first, I am officially nicknaming Eagles second year linebacker Matt McCoy, Bones.

Why Bones?


To pay homage to one of television's most dynamic supporting characters of the past 40 years, Dr. Bones McCoy of Star Trek played brilliantly by DeForest Kelley.

Quick: What was Bones' real first name?

Other than my brothers Joe & Michael and the Bhagwan, AKA Rich Romig, how many of you know the answer?

I will reveal it below.

Toot, toot, chugga, chugga…

Being the parent of a two-year old, I am often treated to the song stylings of four men from Down Under clad in Yellow, Blue, Red and Purple, AKA The Wiggles.

And one of their most well-known songs is “Toot, Toot, Chugga, Chugga Big Red Car.”

I can guaran-damn-tee you that Eagles DL Mike Patterson would have welcomed a ride in the Big Red Car as he chugga chugga'd 98 yards for a touchdown following a Niners fumble near the goal line.

And while we're on this subject, can we please put to rest any discussion that one Brian Dawkins is finished, is too old; is past his prime.

The Eagles other starting safety, Michael Lewis, would be wise to emulate Mr. Dawkins and the way he goes about playing the game.

I know Andy Musser and you are no…

Any Phillies fan worth their weight in Tastykakes knows the name Andy Musser and the word “jinx” go hand in hand like the words Mike Riley and Happy Hour do.

NOTE: Mike Riley, AKA Riles, is a good friend of yours truly as well as being a high school classmate of my brother Greg's and the greatest financial mind since James Cash Penney, AKA Mark Quinlan, AKA the man to my right for every Eagles game for the past 15 years.

Yesterday, Fox play by play guy Kenny Albert did Andy proud.

With a little less than ten a half minutes to play in the Fourth Quarter, Kenny observed that the Eagles had “no sacks on the day”.

Sure enough, on the very next play not only did the Eagles register their first sack but forced a fumble in the process, recovered by the Eagles.

Any time you wanna mention that the Phils haven't been to the World Series in 13 years is fine with me.

The Lido Shuffle…

Did Lito come back and change his number to 29 when we weren't looking?

And before you give me the “but Rod's hurt, Steve, he's doing the best he can” crap…save it. I ain't buying it.

This guy stinks.

The offensive prowess this team has displayed through the first three games is masking some serious deficiencies in the secondary, most notably at cornerback.

The Bottom Line…

Last week I wrote…

“Next up are the Niners. A game the Birds SHOULD win.

Let's just hope if nothing else, the Eagles and Andy learn that when you have team dead and buried, don't play God… just let them rot.”

Well the Eagles did not attempt to play God and instead let the Niners “rot” although not without some thoughts of resurrection going through the Niners heads, first.

Next up are the Packers and Brett Favre on Monday night at The Linc.

The “he-should-have-retired Brett Favre.”

The Eagles should win this game handily.

Handily: 1. In an easy manner. 2. In a convenient manner.

Yeah, I may want to rethink my choice of adverbs…

Until next time.

Time's yours. Food's mine.


ANSWER: Dr. Bones McCoy's real first name was Leonard.










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