Steve Olenski
Sept 18th 2007

Game 2-Redskins defeat Eagles Sept 18, 2007

Ok, raise your hand if you had the Phillies outscoring the Eagles last night. I will get to my full assessment of this team after two games later but rest assured, this team is in trouble with a capital T and a capital Rubble.

As always, let's dive right in…

I know Izel Jenkins and you are no…

Eagles fans over the age of 30 will remember the name Izel Jenkins, a cornerback for the Eagles in the late 80s/early 90s. Izel justifiably earned the nickname “Toast” because he was “burnt” by so many receivers during his time in Philly. Current Eagles CB William Peterson… er, William James or is it James William? Whatever. Like it matters anyway. Much like Izel, he is on his way to cementing his place in Eagles lore for all the wrong reasons. I'm trying to think of a nickname for him that, much like Izel and “Toast” would denote his playing ability or lack thereof and I'm leaning toward “Playoff” as in ‘Man, why does he play off his man so much?' And spare me the ‘but Steve, he did have an interception last night' crap. The ONLY reason he was able to make that pick was because skins QB Jason Campbell hesitated just long enough for him to come back from the 7 yard cushion he was giving the receiver.

Weebles wobble and so does Big Red…

Did you catch the brilliant display of balance by Andy Reid in the 1Q following a run by Brian Westbrook? The flow of the play brought the players right to Andy's feet along the sideline and the big man deftly stepped aside while remaining in a vertical & upright position. And yes, this calls for… check that, SCREAMS for the “this must be jelly cause jam don't shake like that” line.

The Return of Reno …

To build onto my brother Michael's lament last week when he wondered aloud ‘how pathetic is it when we long for the days of Reno Mahe?”… last night was downright embarrassing. We had a national audience hearing national announcers make light of the fact that the Eagles and their fans are simply happy and satisfied to have someone who can actually field a punt. Forget about returning one, no we're just giddy over a fair catch for chrissakes. At the other end of the return spectrum are the Bears who feature a returner named Devin Hester, who in just 20 NFL games has returned a kick for a TD eight times. EIGHT! Not caught the ball eight times. Not returned a punt for more than 5 yards eight times. No returned either a kickoff or punt for a TD on eight different occasions. I for one was quite embarrassed and think it's pretty pathetic when we're ecstatic & satisfied when a returner catches and holds onto a kick.

I know Leather Tuscadero and you are no…

Did you catch the Suzi Quatro, AKA Leather Tuscadero hairdo being fashioned by sideline reporter Suzi Kolber? And speaking of pathetic, how pathetic is that I actually remember the name of Leather's backup band during her stint on Happy Days? I can still see the marquee over Arnold 's Drive In: Tonight, One Night Only, It's Leather & the Suedes.

The Hummer Winds, Came Blowin In…

Did you catch the spot for the H3? One of the features highlighted was the fact that the H3 has 2 feet of water clearance. TWO FEET! Let me tell you something, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you're in 2 feet of water you may have bigger problems and you won't need a car but rather a boat.

Revisionist History…

I am right here, right now calling for a moratorium regarding the Patriots cheating and how the Eagles may have been shafted in the Super Bowl a few years ago. I heard one numbskull the other day call into a sports radio show and say: “You know, I said to my buddies during that game that it looked like the Patriots knew the Eagles plays. All my friends thought I was crazy.” Let me tell you something Einstein, you can't remember what you had for lunch most days let alone what you said to your friends 3 years ago. Give me a break. It's over people, we're not winning any retroactive Super Bowl.

Rambling Observations…

•  How in the name of Marvin Hargrove is James Thrash still in the NFL?

•  Were you like me and did you think the MNF crew was going from 3 members to 4? I mean how long was Charles Barkley going to stay? I like Chuck but enough was enough.

•  The only 2 I give a pass to on the Eagles Offense is Brian Westbrook and Jason Avant.

•  Did you catch the isolation shots of Reggie Brown and Hank Baskett running “routes?” Hey guys, could you juke or fake or do something, anything other than just running down the field like your running to catch the ice cream truck. I mean that was ridiculous. No wonder Donovan looked as poorly as he did on many occasions and the offensive line appeared to be playing not so well. See, if the receivers don't get open then everything up front begins to break down. Maybe someone should have explained that to you by now.

•  I caught some of Andy Reid's postgame press conference and in his estimation, “the effort was there” and the “offensive line did a good job of pass blocking” and “we ran the ball fairly well.” Now I realize it was not ALL the O-Line's doing (see previous point) but… ‘the effort was there?' I'm sorry Andy, I must've stepped out for the entire game and missed that part.

The Bottom Line…

Before the season I predicted a 9-7 record with perhaps 10-6 with a break here and there. I feel fairly confident in my prediction right now and I'm none too happy about it. As previously mentioned, this team is in trouble.

Can they turn it around? Of course they can. They've done it in the past.

Could we be sitting here two months from now looking back on these first 2 games as mere speed bumps in a long season? Absolutely.

But could we also be sitting here two months from now wondering where it all went wrong as we head to an 8-8 or even 7-9 season? Afraid so.

‘Til next time.

Time's yours. Food's mine.

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© Copyright 2006. Jules Pilla

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